Citizen Beta

In my garden right now: eight tomato plants, four pepper plants, two cucumber plants, four squash plants

four basil plants (plus other herbs like mint, chocolate mint, lemon thyme, lemon verbena, curry, marjoram)

two broccoli plants, one cauliflower plant, one strawberry plant, three pumpkin plants, various flowers including begonias, marigolds, petunias and geraniums

Ready to plant today: black-eyed susans, eggplant

How does your garden grow?

I often don’t like to write about books unless I am being paid these days. Sometimes I forget about non-review books as soon as I put them down, not because they are forgettable but because there is no imperative to remember them. I read and hopefully enjoyed them and that is the end of that. I have read some books lately that were good: I liked Gentlemen of the Road by Michael Chabon even though I had to put it down for a while to get some other reading done and lost momentum, liking it less after the break. I also liked A.J. Jacobs The Year of Living Biblically  which is so funny and interesting though I think he floundered a bit at the end. Beyond Belief by Elaine Pagels was another recent good read. This one I read to use for work and found a lot of nice and clear ways of looking at the early Christian community and the path to biblical canonization.

Today I finished Oh Pure and Radiant Heart by Lydia Millet and loved it. I think I am officially a big Lydia Millet fan now. For the online bookclub we read How The Dead Dream which I thought was great. While several of us read it only a few joined in the discussion (we are working on ways to make the club more dynamic) which is too bad because there were some fantastic ideas in there. I had actually picked up Oh Pure and Radiant Heart at a used bookstore looking for the club selection and put it aside until last week. To go by the cover blurb it is about Oppenheimer, Fermi and Szilard, three of the physicists instrumental in producing the nuclear weapons used against Japan in WWII. In this novel, when the first bomb is tested, at the Trinity site in New Mexico, the three men are somehow bodily transported to the year 2004. Yet, their original lives continued on their historic trajectories: they all lived, worked, died, etc as their biographies tell us, yet somehow here they were in the future (our now) as well. As tricky as this sounds, Millet handles it easily and it is really just the vehicle for her exploration of the role of science, morality, humanity, belonging, religion, ecology, personal, national and social responsibility and much more. Wow!

Millet’s style is so interesting to me and a bit hard to describe. Her writing is brisk and clear, yet evocative and poetic. Her characters are human and flawed but often very sympathetic. Plus, the book is quite funny in parts. As the three physicists venture out in to the world, accompanied by a Santa Fe couple, Ben and Ann, they develop a following of believers who want to assist them in their mission to speak out against nuclear weapons and in favor of world peace. Of course, the mission gets muddied and the followers turn into fanatics, the physicists must deal with all of it on top of the existential problems of being who they are and when (they all read about their own lives and deaths, their work and legacies in the books they scour throughout the story). There are trips to Japan, to the Marshall Islands, there is plenty of science, history and politics peppering the story. In short, this was a dense but readable, original and unconventional story.

Other recent reads (reviewed by yours truly elsewhere):

Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman  

Coop by Michael Perry 

And some YA/kids fiction:

Barnaby Grimes (book 2) Return of the Emerald Skull by Stewart and Riddell 

The Silver Door by Holly Lisle

And a bonus, just for you…article on making mazes with kids…you may have to leaf through the May/June issue to find it.

…to Silver City.

I am lazy, so lazy.  I want to write, I do…but I am finding it hard striking the letters on the keyboard.  I spent four days in southwestern New Mexico lazing in the sun, drinking cold beer, gawking at natural wonders, cuddling my kids, reading and watching silly television shows.  I have just 6 days left before the new terms starts and much yet to do to prepare.  So, for now, indulge me in a link-fest of recent reviews and perhaps share with me what you are doing/reading/cooking and eating (again I solicit your fave hot-weather recipes)….

Unlikely Disciple—non-fiction by Kevin Roose who went undercover at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University.

Columbine—really great examination of the Columbine massacre by journalist Dave Cullens.

Don’t Cry—short stories from the always interesting Mary Gaitskill

Sima’s Undergarments for Women—a solid debut novel by Ilana Stanger-Ross

Annie’s Ghosts—another really good one by a journalist: Steve Luxenberg

Our second bookclub selection was chosen by Mandy.  Here is what she has to say about Loving Frank:

When I started this book I had no idea who Mamah Borthwick Cheney was- obviously Frank Lloyd Wright I knew, but only because I have taught about Falling Water in the past. I really enjoyed this book- from the very beginning I was intrigued by Mamah- her choices, her profession, the world in which she lived that seems so different and so similar to our own.
I was torn between being appalled that she would leave her children and being impressed that she was brave enough to do what made her happy. It made me wonder if there was anything- anyone- in the world that would make me even consider leaving my child. I also thought about how incredibly monotonous and mind-numbing domestic responsibilities can be- especially for a woman who had professional goals so clearly ahead of her time. I struggle with this balance in my own life all the time- sometimes it seems like if I have to clean another bathroom, fight again with Cori about eating, or fold another load of laundry I am going to go over the edge, and ANY respite from those kind of tasks is hugely attractive!!

At the start of the book Edwin tells Mamah that happiness is something that takes practice- that if you act happy eventually you will be. What do you think of that? I have a hard time with it, personally. I tend to be more proactive- if you are not happy then change something so you are- that has always been my approach. But what happens when you run out of things to change? Can you just pretend? Can you really just decide to be happy?

I was also amazed by the pubic scandal the affair caused- how different would that situation be now? It seems like today people leave their husbands and wives all the time- especially famous people- the covers of people magazine tell the story of celebrity affairs and breakups everyday. Do you think Mamah’s reaction to all the publicity was overreaction? What about the double standard- she was so villianized by the press, while FLW was let off more easily, it seems.

I also thought a lot about why Mamah stayed with Frank, even after he proved to be so pathetic about money. Why did she do this? Do you think she was a strong character overall or a weak one? One of the reasons I liked her so much is that she was both, just like most of us.

So…. Those are my initial thoughts. I have lots more to say, and I want to hear from all of you, so let’s hear what you thought soon….
Mandy

…and sky

On Wednesday we met friends at the park for four and a half sunny hours. Yesterday it snowed. Such is the season in the high desert. All the short sleeve shirts and sun dresses have to stay in the bottom drawers for a little while longer as we get one or two more wears out of sweaters and tights. But, the mulberry is budding and the new raised beds are full of fresh soil, ready for planting. We are going to try to grow onions, which only D will eat, for the first time this year. I am already envisioning the look of the yard from my glider, beds full of basil and oregano, tomatoes and peppers, petunias and carrots. I love the possibility. I love that I am winding up one term and brainstorming for the next, that my whiteboard is full of deadlines for reviews and article ideas, that there is a big fundraiser coming up at L’s school and I am totally confident that our work will be profitable and the event will be fun. I love that the past few weeks have been full of parties and dinners with friends, playdates and out of town guests, heading to the neighbors in my pajamas at 9:30 at night to watch a silly movie….Spring really is my favorite. Soon the days will be hot, with that sluggish heavy air. The sky will lighten from deep turquoise to almost white and the ground will grow dusty and thirsty. Soon it will hurt your skin just to climb into the car and the sun will be up until nine at night. Soon soon soon. But now! A stack of books, work to do, things to create, stories to write, kids to snuggle with, papers to grade, coffee to drink on these still brisk mornings.

All week we were social, meeting friends, running and playing. Today, I have this quiet hour to myself, half-gone now, spent imagining.

***Next CB online book club selection is Loving Frank by Nancy Horan. Discussion begins HERE April 24^th.***

Claiming busy is the worst excuse, I know, so I won’t bother to say it.

Here is what I have been up to (and don’t forget: I am going to keep bullying you to comment on the discussion of the Lydia Millet book).

Article on chickens and children (page 6)

Review of The Tricking of Freya

Review of The Glister

Review of Amberville

I just finished Eat, Pray, Love which is one of those books that everyone reads and everyone hates but everyone still reads it. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it. I thought the first third, where Gilbert travels to Italy and sortof gets her bearings after her brutal divorce was good. I found her story funny and relatable. But, her soujourn in India, meh. I was not entertained nor enlightened by her mystical yogic experiences, her dreams of her guru, etc etc etc. When she left India for Bali I perked up again but the end was so predictable and dull and who cares about her Brazilian lover? Not I. I hate to say it but she was more likable, as a narrator, when she was depressed, lonely and neurotic than when she was God-loving and sexually active.

A friend has suggested I check out something by Janet Frame: any suggestions?

Now, I must take my current book (more on it soon, surely) and sit in the sun: it may be that spring is here.

First Story

“Walking into the apartment, with a bag of groceries in one hand and Ollie on her hip, she tried to see what those girls down the street saw when they came over to visit. The apartment was dark, the curtains drawn, the place was a mess and it smelled, just a bit, like old oatmeal.”

Second Story

“Rivka walked past that damn shop everyday and everyday she was tempted by an evil inclination to walk inside and abuse her body. Yesterday she slowed her pace, dared to give the not quite dark windows a sideways glance. She couldn’t see much, outlines of bodies from the depths of the space. Ayalet was waiting and so she hurried up again.”

Third Story

“Today my mother asked me when I was going to write a book. I told her I don’t have one in me but that is not true. I have lots of stories in me but they die away before I can cultivate them. I am the dead story cemetery.”

And the Fourth Story

“You are not a gambler by nature but you have often lain awake at night thinking about what you would do if you won the lottery. Just a million, nothing much after taxes, would at least get you out of this dumpy apartment, help you into a nicer car, get your ass on a plane to see some bit of the world. You tell yourself you would put something in the bank to earn some interest because that would be the smart thing to do.”

I heard Lydia Millet taking about her book, How The Dead Dream on “To The Best Of Our Knowledge” one of my favorite radio shows. I was driving and dangerously began looking for a scrap of paper and a pen so I could write down the title…I found a receipt and a blue crayon and accidentally wrote Linda.

When Mandy and I started thinking about putting together an online book club this book came to mind. I remembered some details from the radio show and thought it sounded like a book with a lot of ideas to explore (ecology and civilization, isolation and love, etc) and so here we are.

I will admit that the first chapter was hard for me. I really like the way Millet structures her sentences but it took me a while to get into the rhythm if things. Plus, T. is hard to like and, especially in the first chapter, hard to understand. But, the opening of the second chapter, with the death of the coyote, then this book really started to draw me in. I thought that whole coyote episode was so interesting and compelling and I kept coming back to it mentally as I moved on with T.’s story. I thought the ending (which I am hesitant to discuss until I know everyone has finished the book) mirrored this scene perfectly.

For me, Millet really captures, in such a poetic and strange and sad and sometimes very creepy way a sense of isolation that comes with, at least in this story, the current state of society. An isolation from nature, from each other, from self. T. and his parents all demonstrate this and it damages them in various ways. The other characters demonstrate it to lesser degrees (I often felt these minor characters—not sure if they are minor really but you know what I mean— were “types” and so it was harder to get a handle on their motivations). And the animals….of course, the animals!

I found T.’s empathy with the animals fascinating; he creates feelings for them based on his own experiences and sometimes it makes such sense and sometimes I read him as so hopelessly off the mark—so disturbed by his own emotional isolation— that he was incapable of really even seeing these animals for what they were. Are you angry with him for selfishly trying to “experience” these animals or heartbroken for him? He had the means to make a real difference for some of the animals and habitats he obsessed over but either choses not to or is incapable of even framing the problem in those terms.  The vision of humankind’s relationship to other animals is pretty bleak in this story and one of the characters I found myself caring about was the (unnamed) dog that T. adopts…

Overall I think this is a great book: a dark and solid story with so much of importance swirling around in it, written in a strong and unique voice.

Your turn. What did you think? What kind of guy is T.? What do we take from his journey? Are we doomed to ruin the world until there is nothing but solitary examples left of each species who eventually die in a lonely and altered landscape? Who are the dead here and, whether in the Pancake House or not, how do they dream?

The chickens are doing well.  Very well.

Just four days until the launch of the online book club (do we need a clever name?  a mascot? a slogan?).

We are reading How The Dead Dream by Lydia Millet.  Send me your thoughts on the book and then start checking back here on the 24th to get into the discussion.  If you haven’t finished the book by then, that is fine, you should still join us!

If you need the email address to submit your response to, please leave a comment on this post and Mandy or I will be in touch with you soon.  

The next book will be announced soon, as well.

I actually took this one in June of 2007 but the bike is still there so it counts…

I have a big blood blister on my toe. This disgusting indignity is the price I pay for finally getting some exercise. I have never been a jock, or even someone who likes standing for more than fifteen minutes at a time, but I am now in the worst shape of my life and I don’t like it. In the past few years I have taken yoga but nothing aerobic and just eating healthy, which I do, is not enough. My mental image of myself doesn’t include a head dwarfed by saddlebags. And so to Nia. This dance-type exercise class has loud-ish music and lots of martial arts kicks. The class I attended had just three other attendees and a wall of mirrors. It was humbling to say the least but not the agony I anticipated. My toe hurts and my muscles are sore but pleasantly so and so I am committed to stick with this a while. My goal is to just feel a bit better physically by the end of March.

I am slightly more accomplished at mental exercise (note I said slightly) and to that end have been reading (and writing) up a storm. First I have to just say that though I love to get paid to write, today I was reminded why sometimes just getting the book is enough when an advanced copy of Elie Wiesel’s latest novel arrived in the mail…

Recent reads include For The Thrill Of It by Simon Baatz about the Leopold and Loeb case. I knew next to nothing about this real life murder case before reading this book. I knew those guys were super creepy which Baatz confirmed. I was left wanting to dig a little deeper into the psyches of Leopold and Loeb but still think this was a really interesting and well-written book.

I just finished Murial Barbery’s The Elegance of the Hedgehog which I really loved. It is the story of a fifty-something concierge in Paris named Renee. Though she is incredibly intelligent she hides it behind her role in the building and secretly reads philosophy and Russian novels and watches artsy Japanese films. A new tenet in the building and a suicidal 12 year old girl bring her out of hiding so to speak. She is the hedgehog: prickly and unkempt on the outside but truly elegant and wise. This is a lovely and thoughtful book.

Another creepy one was In The Woods by Tana French which is about a murder in a small Irish town and the detective assigned to the case who witnessed the murder of his friends in the same town as a boy. Very fun and readable and more literary than it sounds though toward the end it started to unravel for me…I felt the author started to go in too many directions and the ending was both surprising and frustrating.

Hmmm….what else? How about some reviews?

Miles from Nowhere by Nami Mun

Voluntary Madness by Norah Vincent

Sunny Holiday  (kids book) by Colleen Murtagh Paratore

We Can’t All Be Rattlesnakes (kids book) by Patrick Jennings

And scroll down to page six here for a review of the really good book The Jewish Body by Melvin Konner (or you could stay on the front page to read my brilliant bit of journalism there).

One last writerly bit to share. I have been published on glossy pages for the first time (I am really excited about that!) with an interview with Amy Shearn in “Albuquerque The Magazine.”

And lastly, if you are going to do the online book club there are about two weeks left: discussion begins on February 24^th. I have my copy of the book—do you??

For a short period of time, my friend Mandy and I were in a book club together. We read some good stuff and had a nice time chatting with the other ladies of the club, meeting for dessert and coffee or Mexican food and beer. I have been thinking a lot about that book club and how I really want to get back into one. Right now I am lucky enough to have a huge stack of new, used and library books, not to mention books to review. This stack will keep me busy and happy for a while. Still, it is nice to share books with friends after you read them, to see what other people think and to have a book chosen for you that you may not have otherwise read on your own.

Mandy moved back to Portland a while ago (booo!) and I stopped going to the book club. I am not sure if it continues on or not.

I guess Mandy was thinking about the book club too because she mentioned it to me and we briefly brainstormed about doing something online. So, here is what I propose and while I am not sure it will work, I think it is worth a try.

For our first and hopefully not last cyber book club, hosted by but not run by CitizenBeta, we will read How The Dead Dream by Lydia Millet.

We will “meet” here in a month (starting February 24^th) to discuss the book and find out about the next selection.

Before the 24^th, send me your initial comments, thoughts or reactions to the book and I will post those as a blog entry and then we will spend the next week or so discussing the book in the comments section.

How does that sound? Please feel free to “invite” anyone to join us.

I realize this is not a very good shot but I think it captures some of the strangeness (perhaps creepiness?) of the city.  Last week while driving around I saw this dude in a Chewbacca suit on the corner of a busy intersection.  His sign reads “9.99 for Anything.”  He wasn’t, as far as I could tell, working for anyone but himself.  What a Wookie!

(as always, click on an image for better quality)  

So it is back to reality today.  Classes are underway and the break is over.  The week started out with a visit to the dentist for L because she lost TWO teeth this week (her first two, so exciting!) and as she was missing a baby tooth we needed to make sure all the adult teeth look okay.  They do.  And the panoramic x-ray they took was super-cool: you could see all her baby teeth and the adult teeth underneath them.  Science!

This week is also full of meetings and appointments and deadlines and a dreaded trip to Costco so I was tickled that Raine tagged me because I didn’t have to come up with anything for this blog post!

I am not going to tag anyone but feel free to play along.

Here are six things about me you probably don’t know (or maybe you do because I am far from mysterious):

1. My eyes are actually brown with a layer of blue over them…That is why, I guess, some people think they are blue while others say green or hazel or gray…They pretty much look blue with brown mixed in the center.
2. The longest I have ever lived in one residence is about 5.5 years.
3. I have nightmares a lot
4. I like green, purple and brown but not orange or yellow
5. I am trying to learn to identify wild birds
6. I can’t get rid of this cough.

I am really not one of those when life gives you lemons make lemonade kind of people. I am more of a wallow in it, kvetch and moan about it, pour lemon juice in your paper-cuts kind of person. So, when our car broke down this week I didn’t see it as a sign of anything: I don’t think the universe was trying to tell me anything or that this was an expensive lesson of some kind. Instead, I think it was a pain in the ass. But, when I started out the door to take it to the shop in the neighborhood, I had the presence of mind to grab my camera so I could take a cityscape image or two on my walk home.

Inspired by Keri Smith’s How To Be An Explorer of the World which is sitting on my bedside table, spine barely cracked, but inspiring nonetheless. I looked for patterns and interesting bits. In fact, I actually tripped on the sidewalk because I was basically walking with my camera up to my face. I didn’t end up taking that many pictures and none of them came out that great so I didn’t file them away for future cityscape images. Here are a few in any case.

Here’s to a year of seeing things differently.